A Whimsical Story

THE HAWSER (索)

There existed at some point in time, a nation divided by a line. The line divided the North-eastern regions from the Rest of the land. The North-eastern region had as its emblem a hammer. The Rest had as its emblem lightning. Hammer and lightning engaged in occasional oratorical skirmishes and fisticuffs, resulting in an auditory melee that was only rarely mellifluous. 

A concerned citizen (he had a few epithets - the Bridge-Builder, the Rabbit-Trail-Chaser, the Channel-Creator), lived at the divide. He decided that he needed to create a new emblem – the Hawser (索). The Hawser would take the shape of a lightning beam emanating from a hammer. His earnest hope was to combine the strengths of both emblems to create an opalescent (at dawn and dusk) and iridescent (at noon) country, which he imagined to be a rainbow nation; perhaps the country could also serve as a bridge, thereby rendering it a rainbow bridge. (Building bridges was one of his passions.)

The North-easterners and Resterners did not take to the Hawser. The North-easterners accused the Bridge-Builder of plagiarism, of pilfering an emblem that had its origins in a faraway land of fjords, auroras and frost giants. The Resterners raked up his past - when he was a Nostrum-Peddler, and how he did not conform with the norms of the guild. Both sides used his Hawser to noose him (oratorically).

Being singularly unsuccessful, the Channel-Creator had to embark on his next plan – to create a Wise Nation.

THE WISE NATION

The Channel-Creator started to traipse across the nation to broadcast his idea of a Wise Nation. On one of his perambulations, he came across a man named Arriviste who was seated in a car, the car parked in his condominium, a country club emblem on the windscreen. Arriviste thought the Channel-Creator a mendicant, and proceeded to draw out a wallet full of credit cards, and handed the Channel-Creator a wad of cash.

The Channel-Creator politely declined, and said that he was not here to ask for handouts, but to promote his idea of a Wise Nation.  

“What is needed to create a Wise Nation?” asked the Arriviste, impatiently looking at his watch.

The Channel-Creator paused for a while, then expatiated: “There are 6 Cs that mankind must be concerned about. These are the Catafalque, the Coffin, the Casket, the Cortege, the Crematorium, and the Cemetery.”

“I have no time for this moonshine,” muttered the Arriviste, and proceeded to floor the accelerator. The Channel-Creator, unable to dodge in time, had his left olecranon struck by the side mirror.

The next day, the Channel-Creator came across the news of a fatal road traffic accident. The driver had exceeded the speed limit along the highway, skidded around a bend, careened into the side of an embankment, and burst into flames. The car had become a Coffin and Crematorium.

恩亮的门

The Channel-Creator was freewheeling through the firmament when he almost collided with a flying worm that was zigzagging haphazardly around.

Asked the Channel-Creator: “I did not imagine that worms had the ability to break through the stratosphere… what are you looking for?”

The flying worm replied: “I am looking for a wormhole that can bring me to another space-time region. Since you are the Channel-Creator, have you ever encountered it?”

The Bridge-Builder responded: “Yes, I am familiar with wormholes. Why do you seek one?”

“I have accomplished unparalleled feats while in this space-time region. You see this gizmo that is strapped around my waist that enables me to zip about in space? This is one such example of my numerous accomplishments. I am now tired of this space-time region that I am trapped in. I wish to enter another space-time region that will gratify my wormly senses.”

“There are numerous wormholes that lead to different places. The nearest one has an extremely narrow entrance covered by a gate bearing the sign 恩亮的门.”

“Why would I want to go through the narrow gate? I have spent my whole life feasting on fertile soil, and have acquired an enviable girth. I do not wish to squeeze through any narrow portal.”

“Ok, there is a wormhole several light-years ahead in this direction… this one will bring you to a multi-dimensional psychedelic universe that will be sure to gratify all your senses.”

“My sincere thanks!” said the flying worm, and proceeded to hurtle in that direction.